*Dark Crisis #0 FCBD Special Edition, cover by Daniel Sampere.*

Zack Quaintance — Dark Crisis is DC Comics big summer event for 2022, the publisher announced Wednesday, sparking a wave of Twitter jokes statements about how many crises DC has now had.

This post, however, is not that. We as a staff tried hard to find something original to say about DC’s crises and darknesses, a truly stunning one-liner to cement our place among Very Important comics commenters — and our ideas were just the worst, truly obvious and onerously stale nonsense, more likely to erode our august standing as Very Important journalists in this industry, exactly what we don’t want.

So, I’m just going to post the descriptions of the books from DC along with the preview pages. I do have some brief analysis to offer, and it is:

This crisis seems totally uninterested in any continuity fidgeting, unlike its predecessors.
Dark Crisis also seems future-facing, less concerned with dredging or reorienting the past and more with trying something new for the future.
Future State - Justice League told us in early 2021 this was coming (see the below Tweet).

Thinking of them. pic.twitter.com/0nU3xR3wKt
— clark bull (@drinkpinkink) February 9, 2022

If you do want obvious grousing about this, I’ve got you! I’ve included highlights from our sincerely terrible brainstorming session at the bottom of this piece, after the jump with our Amazon link (making purchases through those supports our bad jokes!), DC’s summaries of the books, and the preview art…enjoy!

What is Dark Crisis?

Dark Crisis is a monthly event from writer Joshua Williamson, artist Daniel Sampere, colorist Alejandro Sánchez, and letterer Tom Napolitano. From DC’s announcement, “Dark Crisis spins out of Justice League #75 'DEATH OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE' and connects all the story threads across the DCU since Infinite Frontier #0 in a major way.” …and, “the heroes left behind must come together to combat this great evil and save the lost Justice League, but what happens when not everyone agrees to join the fight?”

Dark Crisis #1 arrives in June, but first there will be Dark Crisis #0 arriving on Free Comic Book Day (May 7), and a Justice League: Road to Dark Crisis #1 one-shot hitting on May 31. Williamson made a video discussing it, too. Full previews, along with artwork, can be found below…

DARK CRISIS #0 FCBD SPECIAL EDITION
Written by JOSHUA WILLIAMSON and more!
Art by JIM CHEUNG, DANIEL SAMPERE, and more!
Cover by DANIEL SAMPERE
32 pages | Standard periodical 6 5/8" x 10 3/16"
ON SALE 5/7/22
Witness the rise and fall of the Justice League! The event years in the making is here with Dark Crisis. The Justice League is comics’ greatest super-team—made up of DC Comics’ legendary Super Heroes, they have saved the world countless times. No crisis was too much for them to handle…until now! The Justice League has been defeated by the Great Darkness and its army of DC’s most dangerous villains—now a new generation of heroes must rise to protect not only the Multiverse…but also the legacy of the DC Universe! A prelude to DC’s biggest story of 2022!
Includes a preview and art from Dark Crisis #1, coming in June! Don’t miss out on this Free Comic Book Day special featuring the blockbuster talents of Joshua Williamson, Jim Cheung, and Daniel Sampere! For free!
JUSTICE LEAGUE: ROAD TO DARK CRISIS #1
Written by JOSHUA WILLIAMSON, JEREMY ADAMS, BRANDON THOMAS, CHUCK BROWN, STEPHANIE PHILLIPS, and PHILLIP KENNEDY JOHNSON
Art by CLAYTON HENRY, DAN JURGENS, FICO OSSIO, EMANUELA LUPACCHINO, LEILA DEL DUCA, and more!
Cover by DANIEL SAMPERE
Variant cover by CHRIS BURNHAM
1:25 variant cover by RAF SARMENTO
$5.99 US | 48 pages | One-shot | Variant $6.99 US (card stock)
ON SALE 5/31/22
The Justice League has tragically fallen in battle, and now we see the aftermath. How does the world react to the Justice League being gone? Which heroes rise up…and which villains try to take advantage? And what dark forces are lying in wait to attack? An all-star roster of DC talent showcases a world without a Justice League and sets the stage for next month’s Dark Crisis event!

The pages below are from the Dark Crisis #0 FCBD Special Edition…

This is the cover to Justice League: Road to Dark Crisis #1 by Sampere…

And here we have the cover to Dark Crisis #1, also by Sampere…

Finally, Our Bad Dark Crisis Jokes, Headlines, and One-Liners

Enjoy, you sickos…, or, alternately, “we tried to say something pithy about Dark Crises, but we’re all tired and jaded…”

Wait, were the other crises NOT dark?
I read the word crisis and blacked out…
This is all leading to the darkest event possible, just 20 blacked-out pages. So dark.
DC announces every previous crisis was for little $*#&@-es.
Sorry we couldn’t find a new angle on the 14th crisis, so here’s some new art
7 Crises Darker than Dark Crisis, which doesn’t look that dark

And so on…

Anyway, to recap, Dark Crisis #0 FCBD Special edition hits on May 7, Justice League: Road to Dark Crisis #1 hits on May 31, and Dark Crisis #1 is set to launch the series proper in June.

Read more Very Important features about comics in the Comics Bookcase Features section!

Zack Quaintance is a tech reporter by day and freelance writer by night/weekend. He Tweets compulsively about storytelling and comics as Comics Bookcase.