By Allison Senecal — Happy Halloween, you all, and welcome back to Thirsty Thursdays, which I think it’s safe to say is among the top monthly looks at thirsty comic book art anywhere on the Internet. Now, you may be wondering…is this column still mutants-only? YES (mostly). But now it’s also a sex and resurrection cult.

Let’s take a look at Marvel’s thirstiest mutant children…

House of X #6
Artist: Pepe Larraz
Colorist: Marte Gracia and David Curiel

Doug is officially a bisexual because he’s sitting like that. 

THERESA IS BACK. ALISON. MAKING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER. LADIES. 

Emma and Jean absolutely already enjoyed some telepathic foreplay here. No words are needed. Emma drinking a domestic beer for the first time in her life just because Jean Grey handed it to her.

Daredevil #12
Artist: Marco Checchetto
Colorist: Sunny Gho

Checchetto’s Elektra has leveled up? How ? Look at her. Look at those curls! 

Legion of Super-Heroes: Millennium #2
Artist: Nicola Scott
Colorist: Tomeu Morey

There you have it. 

The Web of Black Widow #2
Artist: Stephen Mooney
Colorist: Triona Farrell

I wanna know where Nat got this swimsuit made, because she had to have it custom made with that hourglass cutout! I KNOW SHE DID. LOOK AT THOSE ABS. 

Once & Future #3
Artist: Dan Mora
Colorist: Tamra Bonvillain

I haven’t featured this series yet because mutants and stuff, but Duncan is basically exactly the kind of man I would like if I liked men. Former rugby player. A professor, but not pretentious. Obviously intelligent but a complete himbo. A redhead. 

X-Men #1
Artist: Leinil Francis Yu
Colorist: Sunny Gho

No sense in denying that Yu and Gho render Lorna the most  beautifully of all the X-Men here. 

Not at all awkward when your sorta-step-grandmother hits on you and refills your booze of choice. 

Marauders #1
Artist: Matteo Lolli
Colorist: Federico Blee

Is THERE ANYTHING SEXIER THAN KATE PRYDE KNEECAPPING FELLAS AND PHASING GUNS THROUGH THEIR MAJOR ARTERIES? 

*eye emoji* Pyro, huh. 

Strikeforce #2
Artist: German Peralta
Colorist: Miroslav Mrva

Angela and Satana sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Something, something, who comes first and who comes second.

Excalibur #1
Artist: Marcus To
Colorist: Erick Arciniega

Very into Trinary’s elegant new Krakoa look. 

Bisexual Nightmare Fuel, the Braddock Twins. 

Bisexual Nightmare, period, Jamie Braddock. 

We’re getting a lot of Morgan le Fay content in this first arc, so I’ll have plenty of “choke me, Mom” material for the foreseeable future. 

Allison buys books professionally and comics unprofessionally. You can find her chaotic neutral Twitter feed at @maliciousglee.